You Have to REALLY Want Something…

by Manya on March 21, 2013

“There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going” (sign seen on the walls of a treatment center).   AND not only are there no shortcuts, there may  very well be a number of detours.

For the things I’ve most wanted and accomplished thus far in my life, the amount of work required and the not infrequent challenges I encountered along the way showed me I must REALLY REALLY want this thing, because in order to stick with the frustrations, unexpected setbacks and new challenges, I really HAD to want this thing to keep going.

This was true in my pursuing a medical degree at the age of 37.  It’s true in my (second) marriage.  And it’s proving to be just as true in making this vision of a life in Ecuador a reality.

P1010696Sometimes there’s a “there” you get to where you’ve got the thing and you stop WANTING it.  But sometimes – as in the case of marriage – there’s no “there” to get to.  There’s simply the ongoing journey of putting one foot in front of the other and enjoying whatever shows up on the journey, kind of what I imagine a trek in the Himalayas to be like, something I still want to do by the way.  However, having done long hikes in various mountain ranges I know it goes more or less like this – great views from time to time, wondering if you’re lost, then reaching a summit and having a few moments of transcendence, hitting a major storm, being enveloped in a dark forest and hearing unknown possibly scary sounds, feeling so damn tired every bone aches, stopping to rest and drinking in the support of the earth and your surroundings that’s always there even when you don’t see it.

The precipitant for this spontaneous post was learning from our Ecuadorian lawyer this morning that there is now a new regulation from the government regarding the kind of visa we are pursuing which involves yet more steps (including a 7 hour drive to the nearest Ecuadorian Consulate) and more time to process.  Welcome to Ecuador.  Feeling completely awash in a myriad of logistical details that range from winnowing our endless possessions to getting multiple documents apostilled in multiple states, to learning all the details of packing and shipping, to getting our cats their shots and international medical certificate, carriers…..well, you get my point. Adding another step and a trip to Chicago in Minneapolis was definitely not in the plan!

However, the commitment has been made and until we arrive at our destination, we are not turning back.  So yes, we REALLY must want this.

As my old friend Joan Boryscenko said recently on FB we all have to do whatever work in our life is required to peel away the layers of doubt, fear, judgment, and conditioning that obscure the light of our true nature and hide the brilliance of our potential – and, I would add – the rightness of each Now moment. Some of us get to practice faith in ourselves and the Universe.  The good news is that we can.

No doubt that the game of Life requires full commitment if not real tenacity and at the same time, remembrance that it is in fact a game and not to get too wound up about it all.

Patricia Milland March 28, 2013 at 4:50 pm

When did I let go of my tenacity of which I was so proud?! Good for you, Manya!

Manya March 28, 2013 at 5:16 pm

The good news, Pat, is that it’s still there somewhere. I believe it gets activated – and reactivated – when we connect to something (a vision, a relationship, a contribution) that resonates at a deep level.

Heidi March 29, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Indeed… “activated and reactivated.”

mike March 22, 2013 at 9:17 pm

I love it, it reads so capable…and it validates the precept IMHO, that in support, we function more capably. I’ve seen a lot of stuff you’ve written and this struck me as some of the best @F-L-O-W, there is validation in the old bold quote that Goethe framed:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

And still my favorite poet: “Freedom lies in being bold.” ― Robert Frost

As my mentor would say: “To infinity and beyond!” You go girl, hehe.

Manya March 22, 2013 at 9:28 pm

Thanks for adding the Goethe quote, Mike. I thought of including it but it must have been a fleeting thought And what I have to discover, and rediscover, is that when the new plan emerges that one is “forced” to consider and embrace, so often both the path and the outcome(s) turn out in retrospect to have been for the best. One of the freedoms that comes with aging if not earlier in life seems to be – by frequent report – the self-permission to be bold.

Heidi March 29, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Mike, nice reminder of Goethe’s, “Until one is committed…” which is both powerful and true.

Perhaps another key with that ties in here is the idea of “not being attached to the outcome.” The balance seems to lie within these two thoughts, which then allows for more ease (resilience) in adjusting and then recommitting, adjusting, recommitting, etc. Kind of like how the astronauts eventually made it to the moon – they had their overall goal in mind, yet spent 90+% of their trip off the “ideal” path, continually taking in information to be clear about where there were in the “Now” so they could appropriately re-calibrate.

Manya, it, too, has been my humble experience, “so often both the path and the outcome(s) turn out in retrospect to have been for the best.” It has made for a rich, luscious life-experience that I never would have prescribed for myself.

benita March 22, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Wonderful blog, Manya. Details of your vicissitudes will make for the next great travel/personal growth book. And, once they’re in the past tense, it will also be a humor book. Sorry the Ann Arbor trip didn’t happen, but this is the best communication we’ve had in years.

Manya March 22, 2013 at 5:22 pm

Thanks,Be. Always appreciate your comments knowing how discerning and well-read you are:-) Hopefully I’ll keep some shreds of a sense of humor about the vicissitudes as they occur. We must stay in touch.

Previous post:

Next post: